"just kill me now"

i dont know whats wrong with my life now...
i just want to redo everything if i had done something wrong
everyone that i love, my friends, all of them
we were REAL and now we are FAKE
everybody have their own secrets
secrets about backstabbing between friends. each other
is it me just feel like that ? or it is real?
sometimes i just ignore it, but i cant
its just too real for me...